11 March, 2011

Jokes for obesity

When you climb on weighing scale- the scale reads- To be continued.
When you climb on weighing scale, the scale starts talking and says- please come one by one.
You cant get photos clicked, only your posters can be made.
I am very motivated- moti (fat in hindi) + weighted- to loose weight.

Kelly is so fat, he shows up on radar.
The guy is so fat, he leaves footprints in concrete!
One guy was so fat, he had his own area code.
You are so fat NASA orbits satellites around you.
Kelly is so big, he plays hopscotch like, "Texas...Alabama...North Carolina...Pennsylvania..."
I know a lady named Paulette that is so fat she has to wake up in sections.
And then there is Judy.  She has so many double chins she looks like she is staring at you over a pile of pancakes.
Seriously though, Judy isn’t fat, she insists she’s just 4 feed too short.
But Paulette takes the cake.  Once she jumped into the gulf here in Panama City and the tide came in at Myrtle Beach.
Your mama's so fat, when she broke her leg, gravy poured out!
Kelly is so fat, they use his belt to measure the Earth's equator.
The guy is so fat, if someone would melt him down, they'd have enough oil to power Detroit for a month!
Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other, "Your round."
The other one says "So are you, you fat pig!"
Kelly is so fat, if he wore a GoodYear hat, he'd look like a blimp.
You are so fat you were baptized in Sea World.
You are so fat, you had your baby pictures taken by satellite.
Kelly is so fat, people jog around him for exercise.
Jim is so fat when they step on the scale it says, "No live stock please."
Yo momma's so fat she needs a VCR for a pager
Your mama's so fat that her belly button makes an echo
Yo momma's so fat her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard
Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she says "Trick or Meatloaf!"
Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get to her GOOD side.
Yo momma's so fat, when she wore a yellow jacket downtown, everyone yelled, "Hey, Taxi."
Yo momma's so fat she had to get baptized at sea world.
Your momma is so fat, she climbed in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
Yo momma's so fat the only time she sees 90210 is on the scale.
Yo Mama's so fat, she's the reason they invented double doors.
Yo Mama's so fat when she wore high heels she struck oil.
Yo Mama's so fat she plugged the hole in the ozone layer.
Yo Mama's so fat she ate the milky way.
Yo Mama's so fat she has to wear a wide load sign.
Yo Mama's so fat the army uses her panties for a parachute.
Yo momma is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
Your Momma's so fat she can go on vacation by rolling over.
Yo momma is so fat, she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook.
Your momma is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said 1 person at a time please.
You momma's so fat, when she walks, she shows up on the Rictor scale!
Your mama is so fat she steps on a dollar bill and makes change.
Yo momma so fat, I tried to walk around her and got lost.
Your momma's butt is so big, she got stopped at the airport for having 200 pounds of crack!
Your mama's so fat when she walked by a construction site they used her as a wrecking ball.
Your momma's so fat, once she jumped in the water, and everyone ran out yelling, "Tsunami!"
Yo mommas so fat she took her pants to the dry cleaners and the lady said, "we don't do curtains".
Your momma is so fat, I take her panties and I use them as the main sail of my yacht.
Yo mamma so fat, she got more rolls then a pastry truck!
Yo mamas so fat the back of her neck looks like a package of hotdogs
Yo momma's so fat when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet!
Yo momma's so fat her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
Yo momma's so fat, she could sell shade.
Yo momma's so fat when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
Yo momma's so fat, she couldn't even jump to a conclusion!
Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

The rather broad lady showed up at the theatre just before the
performance started and handed the usher two tickets. "Where's
the other party?" asked the usher.
"Well," said the lady, with a blush, "you see one seat
is a little small for me and rather uncomfortable so I bought
two. But they're both really for me."
"Okay with me, lady," the usher replied, scratching
his head. "There's just one problem. Your seats are numbers
fifty-one and sixty-three."
Also, there was the time Paulette fell over in the sand and rocked herself to sleep trying to get up.  She was eventually awakened by a lifeguard who asked her to move back because the tide was waiting to come in.


  1. Kiran,

    Jokes are funny. I am sending you an email.

  2. Hi Kiran,

    Have always enjoyed reading your blog...am just a little taken aback about this one on obesity...yes ofcourse, you havent said a word on it but am wondering what is the point in posting such a thing...being obese is'nt funny dont you think? Being a trainer you will know better! Just wondering!