21 October, 2011

Bored Delhi Housewife

I have no patience for bored Delhi housewife. She has nothing good to do in her life than to shop from her husband's money. She exhibits no class and is brain dead. A typical Delhi bored housewife can be recognized from a distance. She definitely has some or all of these symptoms:

  • She is fat (read obese).
  • She has a bad skin (dark, pigmented) which she has covered with even worse make up job- probably applied a foundation which makes her look stark white.
  • She strikes the most unintelligent conversation possible, which makes you pull your hair.
  • She is, for sure, loaded with heavy pieces of jewelry (fake) and is carrying a fake designer bag.
  • Her feet are unkempt but she wears some glittery footwear.
  • She makes an extra effort to be one with the crowd. Probably sit on the card table. Tries hard to strike a conversation (which is for sure non sense).
  • There is certainly some very unhappy, under confident and un contended look on her face which you just cannot miss.

So here is a typical conversation that a bored Delhi housewife will strike with me.

Kiran tell me an exercise to reduce my stomach. I have written on this blog earlier- I have yet to go to a party where a person has not asked me this silly question. Darlings, in a party, I am enjoying as much as you are. Please do not expect me to start demonstrating you exercises in the middle of the room dressed in all the finery. And it is not about plain and simple exercise. It is much more technical than that. How many reps, sets, speed, rest, cardio, stamina, diet, and so much more, is involved. Or are you expecting me to say- Do crunches to reduce your stomach. Spare me the horror dahlings. Puhlease stop asking me this and stop asking me to make a diet chart for you in the party where I can see you holding a plate with a heap of food and desserts mounted till top. Enjoy the party and let me enjoy it too.

Another good one which has started happening recently. She is eyeing me very condescendingly for clicking pictures. Thinking in her mind that she is some celebrity and can throw some attitude. She is also wondering why I am getting so much attention and not her. She is sitting alone at a distance and her facial expression is changing from being sad to sadder seeing me surrounded by a bunch of folks laughing and chatting.
Then, as soon as she gets the first opportunity to chat with me,  she asks- Kiran why do you click pictures? Here, my very close friend pitches in for me and says- she is a blogger. So now the bored Delhi housewife starts her non sense queries.

  • What is a blog?
  • Do you get paid for your blog?
  • Who pays you for your blog?
  • The worst ones- Why do they pay you for your blog? 
  • How much do they pay you?

Mind you- Had she asked me in a manner of seeking help/info, where I felt that, she too is interested in doing something productive with her life, I would have helped her. But her questions are more targeted like WTH are you doing? She gives me an attitude but does not realize I am quite capable of giving her a bigger attitude.

Hey bored women! Please leave me alone. Cos I really do not know, how to answer your questions. I cringe with these kind of questions. You are so hopeless, so aimless. Your world and mine are just so different and I can't bear you for a minute.