24 November, 2011

Explanation, Expectation, Commitment

Have you ever heard of statements like the one below at any point of your life?

Keep no expectations from me.
I owe you no explanations.
I have given you no commitment.
You do not need to be jealous.

But when you fall in love, all the above statements are over ridden. Rationality is thrown and blown away. That is why you "fall" in love and not "rise up". One strong wave takes over all the reasoning. Despite being fore warned by the above one liners, still your heart takes over your mind. You are left with no ego. You surrender yourself happily and completely.

Relationships are complex. Dealing with them is even harder. While everyone needs their own space and not feel the need to give explanations, sometimes we hurt others inadvertently.
What happens when there is no commitment? While one person wants to remain a free bird, other has the heart on one's sleeve. Here comes pain which is often associated with love. Those butterflies you feel in your stomach. That twitch, those pangs, that sting and the stitch.

While one person is on the loose/not bound, the other one is tormented. No one is wrong here. But then how to deal with it? I would say break free. Instead of inflicting pain on yourself, break free and move on. Yes, keep no expectations but love yourself the most. No one is worth that shooting heartache that you feel.

When faced with such situation, where one person tells you that they owe you no explanation, there is no commitment and you, despite having no expectation, feel distressed (because you are more emotional and in love), understand that there is more to life than putting yourself in such agony.
Half measures do not work in such cases. Extremes do. You have loved intensely and extremely. Now cut the loose ends.

Sounds too difficult and easier said than done. On one hand we are talking about love and on the other hand we are talking about cutting the loose ends and moving on. There is an immense dilemma and how do we resolve it?

Lets evaluate the options and choices that you have.

A. Your partner also loves you equally. (Ideal situation)
B. You continue to suffer and endure the pain because you are in love. (You will reach a breaking point some time. Sooner the better).
C. Let your head take over your heart. Choose to love yourself foremost. Break free of this relationship NOW. With time, you will heal.