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28 October, 2012

Commitment vs Callous attitude

In a Bollywood movie, there is a famous dialogue, by Salman Khan "ek baar jo maine commitment kar di to fir to main apne aap ki bhi nahin sunta." To my non Hindi speaking readers, it means, "once I have made a commitment, then I would not even listen to my own self."
Actually, I am like this exactly. Very Committed. And I have been so since childhood. If I will commit to you that I will reach your place at a given date and time, do something for you, get something for you, workout with you, etc etc, then come what may- rain, shower, hail, storm, it will be done at exactly the same time, date, place. I never ever back out of my commitments (even if I am dying).
But also since my childhood, I have faced callous attitude of people, friends, acquaintances. Last minute cancellations are a norm (specially in Delhi).
Let me give you a tip. If you are hosting a party- lets say a Birthday party/anniversary party/any party, and you have invited 100 people- expect 70 will confirm and 45 will turn up. And then, you as host, will wonder if your friends do not love you enough. The problem is not with you but with people. That is the rate in Delhi.
Lets say, you made a girls night out plan with 10 girls- expect 8 to confirm and and due to last minute cancellations, 3 will turn up.
People here, do not realize that the host does have to make arrangements. Last minute cancellations are an accepted fact. I have never cancelled at last minute.
I am a stickler for punctuality and commitment. Despite, facing such attitudes, I still stand committed. If I do not have to go somewhere, I apologize right from the beginning and show my regret. But I do not cancel and give excuses last minute. In fact, I do not believe in giving excuses. I am a believer, "where there is a will, there is a way." Excuses are for the weak.
In fact, I have this rule at my work place. My clients are told right in the beginning- Last minute cancellations, however urgent and genuine the problem maybe (which means- less than 24 hours in advance), means, they will be billed for the booked appointments. It just assures that at least in my work, I do not bear with callous attitude. I need commitment from my clients.
But having faced such non committed folks, has still not deterred by commitment levels. I have just made few more rules for myself.
1. People who back out at the last minute are deleted from my list of future invites.
2. I make sure, I do not attend their hosted parties and apologize to them right from the start.
3. Last but not the least, very important rule- I have completely stopped asking anybody if they are interested to accompany me, to even the best of the party/event/reception happening in town (even if I have extra passes/invites that I end up wasting). That way, I get to meet new people and have even better time instead of trying to stick to my familiar people.
Do not be afraid to take a risk. People have this mentality of going out only with their known groups to familiar places. That is a herd mentality. I have traveled alone to completely unfamiliar countries where I did not even speak the language and knew no body. but I came back with list of new friends and great memories. Friends, whom I connected with, for good.
Similarly, going all by yourself, to a crowded party, where you know no one, is OK. Instead of relying on non committed familiar people, make new friends. Trust me, you will have a great time.