16 October, 2012

How to make a girl fall in love with you

It is important to understand why women fall in love. They call it "bond", "connection", with Mr. Right. If you are in her "just friends" zone, it means that you know her at only one level. Whereas it is important to know her at her inner deeper levels. That is not just the sexual side of her but her emotional too.

1. Find out what her interests are. If she is interested in hiking, find best hiking trails to take her for hiking. Some place that she has never seen before. If she likes dancing (like me), take her out dancing and give her "the time of her life". Make sure you are a good dancer also and not an embarrassment on the floor where she cringes or feels embarassed. If you are not a great dancer, join a dance class together. Do things together for that extra bonding. Least of all you can do, accompany her to her dance socials. Watch her dance. Sit and enjoy. Interact with her friends. Compliment her on her skills. Be proud of her.

2. Cook for her. Give her cute surprises with your cooking skills. Or prepare a nice bubble bath for her. Cute surprises are nice but there is a thin line between surprise and a shock. An example- she wakes up and finds a breakfast table laid for her, that is a cute surprise, she will love. Now you go overboard and take her to a house that you bought for both of you. Let me tell you, she won't like it. She will be hurt that you did not involve her in such a major decision making process. Read point 9. This is not a cute surprise but a shock that she will always remember with some pain.

3. Take her out to the most romantic dates that she has only dreamt of- send her flowers, a new dress to wear on a date, movie, candle lit dinner. If you intend to go a step further, surprise her on these dates- live violin player coming to your table, ring in that champagne glass, slip in that fortune cookie, etc.

4. Be extremely gentle to her. Speak to her softly, flirt with her, give her a foot massage, help her tie or untie her sandals (even in public), steal a quick kiss, catch her unaware, put a protective arm around her waist. Hold her hands. Convey your feelings to her by deeply gazing at her.

5. Show her how proud of her you are. Girls are sensitive to this. Take her to meet your other friends, take her with you to your office party, etc.

6. When she talks, listen. Listen from her perspective. It should not be about you. It is about her then.  Appreciate her honesty. Be attentive to her- to her needs and desires and help her open up to you.

7. Display maturity, empathy, concern, faith, trust. Impress her with the way you deal with situations, show her how responsible you are in your profession, career, finances etc. But never burden her with your problems. Women have motherly instincts but in a romantic relationship, they like to be taken care of more rather than baby sitting you and mollycoddling you. If you show that you her hyper, that you panic, raise your voice, it is a big turn off for any woman.

8. Do not ever give her any insecurity. Make her feel how important she is to you. That the whole world can take a back seat. Let her sense your commitment. When she feels secure and established, it takes the relationship to another level. She should be able to count on you. Never try to make her feel jealous. It is not going to be your victory if she burns in the pangs of jealousy. Ultimately, you would loose.

9. Trust her completely. Make her your confidante. Make her a part of your life COMPLETELY. Give her a fulfilling relation and she will fulfill all your dreams completely. Involve her in your major decisions.

10. Compliment her- make sure those are genuine compliments straight from your heart. Tell her what turns you on, in her.

11. Make her laugh- Whether it is with your own wit and humor, or watching a hilarious comedy show together or sharing a funny joke, idea is to be at the same wavelength.
Usually the things that make us most happy are the things that we give most value to. So in order to make someone fall in love with you, do something that makes him/her most happy and they will attach most value to you. Happiness is contagious. If you want to make someone happy, you must yourself be happy first. If you are yourself a happy person, you are attractive to others. But if you are yourself sad, depressed, sulking, anxious, angry, then you are hard to be loved.

12. Find out what turns her on- How she likes to be held, how she likes to be kissed, what are are her erogenous zones. Respect her and her body. Kiss her not just always to have sex but to convey to her how much she turns you on and how special she is to you. Make her feel desired, wanted, proud of.

13. Give her space- Do not be possessive nor make her feel very accountable about where and when she is and with whom. Trust her and give her space. Let her be her own person without suffocating her. But still show your concern for her welfare. There is a thin line between being non concerned and giving space. Do not give so much space that she lands in space.

14. Remember little details that make her happy- like at her favorite bar, her favorite drink. Make her feel that you genuinely care for her and listen to her small nitty gritties.

15. Tell her that you do love her- The words sometimes need to be said and told. You don't have to wait to take her to bed and say it. It can be said anytime on the spur of the moment when you genuinely feel it.

16. Do not hurt her or cause her any pain. Do not give her moments when she is just languishing or waiting for your one phone call.  Before she asks for it, give it to her. Give her that kind of intimacy, love and care. It is a myth to think and believe that women like to chase. Men have misconceptions like- Be the first one to keep the phone down. Do not pick her phone call immediately. Wait for her to call you. Women appreciate security more than anxiety and turmoil. They might chase initially but they loose interest even faster. There are many pastures to explore.  Read point 8 again.

17. Last but not the least- be her lover, friend, soulmate. Yes, physical intimacy is very important too. It adds spark in a relationship. That is the time to sweep a woman off her feet, take charge and let her surrender.

Fill each other's life so completely that there is space for no one else. Whatever you will give to your woman, she will give you back multifold. Whether it is love, care, hurt, jealousy, pain, etc. Be ready to get multifold of what you invest in a relationship because women are givers. But they give what they get. Choice is yours. You reap what you sow.

While I was writing this blog post, this little butterfly came and sat beside me. Even my comp cord can be seen in the picture. This butterfly also wanted to spread the message of love.

People do many cute things for each other. What the cutest thing done for me- I once entered a room filled with- tiny, beautiful, colorful butterflies. Many of them- 100's. That flew away later. But they were just so beautiful and they made my heart flutter.