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27 February, 2014

Tug of war

There is an interesting childhood story I had heard that has left its mark on me. It is Akbar Birbal story. Birbal was known for his wisdom.
One day two women came to King Akbar's court. They were fighting over a baby and both claimed the baby to be their own. No one could decide, whose baby it actually was. So, Birbal intervened and said that since it could not be decided, he would cut the baby into two halves and hand it over to both. Hearing this, one woman cried, "No do not cut the baby in two. Let her have the full." Birbal knew that she was the mother. And of course, gave the full baby to her.
When there is true love, you do not want your loved one, cut into two. You let your loved one go completely and fully. You are content to see your loved one happy. You do not want to own them. You want to see your loved one alive and complete. It is not sacrifice. It is not escape. It is- Not putting your loved one in the centre of tug of war and ripping him/her into two.
This story has left its mark so much on me that whenever I see anyone I love, torn between the two, I let go. Sometimes there are situations where a man will be torn between his mother and wife, child will feel sandwiched between two parents, one person is constantly giving explanations to two dear friends. In any such situation, it is best to let go of your loved one and not to tear him apart. It saves so much of heart ache, emotional turmoil and constant fighting.
Someone once told me, "You give up too soon. You do not fight." My answer is, just to win this game of tug of war, I cannot grind my loved one. I had rather, let the other party take full. I do not want to shred my loved one ever and see him/ her die every day. My loved one is not  prized catch or my trophy. I want to see my loved one untroubled.
"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were. " Kahlil Gibran.