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15 February, 2014

Why do people fight?

Why do people fight? Why do relationships sour? Why is there so much bickering? You know why- It is the need in us to dominate, to make the other person succumb to our wish. It is because of expectations. It is because we want an ego boost. A relationship can survive only when there is no expectations but acceptance. Two things that Art of Living teaches are:

1. Expectation kills joy
2. Accept people and situations the way they are.

This is the mantra to be happy and to make people around us happy. There is no need to be a cause of misery for anyone. Steer clear of relationships that bring you grief, from people who want to dominate you. Generally, it is said that relationships have teething troubles in the beginning. The reason for this is that initially, two individuals try to change each other, dominate each other, have expectations that are not being met. As soon as they start accepting each other the way they are, they have a perfect understanding amongst themselves. There is peace and happiness.

Having said the above, there are things that one must never accept. You must resist with all your life force,violence or abuse of any kind. Verbal abuse, foul language, physical abuse, etc should be resisted and never tolerated. Adopt an attitude of zero tolerance if some one tries to threaten or abuse you. No matter how dear a relationship, have the courage to walk out of negativity. Be yourself. Be a good human being- polite, secure, independent, intelligent, mature. But if someone controls you, wants to change you, abuses or dominates you, then fight. Fight for what is right.